Happy Birthday...to Me!

Today is a very special day for me...not just because is the day I was born, the day that made my mom a "mother," and not because it is the day I celebrate another trip around the sun.  Today is the day that I celebrate life--my new life.  

You see, last year...last birthday, I was struggling.  We had just moved from Austin (the only place I ever felt I truly BELONGED, the place where I had formed amazing friendships, and the place I NEVER wanted to leave) to further my husband's career in Dallas.  Harper was about 5 months old and I was still trying to loose the baby weight, and rediscover who I am outside of being the food source and caretaker of my children.  And I had not ventured out much (given my duties as a mother of small kids) to meet new friends and get involved.

I was frustrated with choosing our move based on making the right choice for the future, exhausted by trying to loose the baby weight, and just reeling from reading all the parenting books about "preparing your kids for the future."  Additionally, the new move and expenses made our finances tight, and I was sick of talking about appreciation, making a good investment, bills and cash flow.  Outside of the love for my family I was sad and tired and I felt lost in my own life.

It was on my birthday that I started to reflect on my life.  I was living...but I was living for tomorrow.  I was skipping dessert, to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans in the future.  I didn't rock my daughter to sleep, to ensure that she would learn to sleep on her own.  I wore sunscreen and hats daily to avoid skin cancer and wrinkles when I get old.  My husband and I decorated our kids rooms, but didn't buy anything for ourselves because we wanted to save for the future.  I guilted myself over not being a scrapbooker--not "preserving" the memories for my kids future.  Everything I was experiencing in my life seemed to be a preparation for the future...but when was that going to come?  When was my someday?  When would I eat off of my china, or take a crazy vacation, or do something just for the here and now?

Well, it was on that day that I decided to be re-born into a world where I MAKE EVERY DAY SPECIAL.  I wanted to be prepared for the future, but live like every day is the last.  I wanted to enjoy every single breath for what it is...not what I want it to be, or what it had the potential to become.  I wanted to spend time with my friends really listening to them and hearing them for who they are...not just what activity we might be doing.  What good is it to spend our lives preparing for the future when we all know that the next breath we take could be our last?

This idea is truly where my philosophy on photography came from.  Photography was my passion, but I limited myself to being a hobbyist, because I had to work for my future (i.e. make money), and I had all these rational reasons for why it "just wouldn't work."  

After my epiphany last year, I decided that my life was far to short to not spend as much time enjoying my passions as possible. Now that I have embraced this life philosophy, my business has been amazingly blessed (THANK YOU!) and exceeded my expectations tenfold.  My life feels more full, I am JOYOUS and you know what, my family is much happier as well!  I learned that one sweet before bed does not ruin my kids, that my nice dishes are surprisingly resilient, and every time I hug my kids they will always be the first ones to let go, not me. I LOVE to rock my babies--so I learned to listen to my heart and so I do it now. Miraculously...Harper sleeps just fine on her own.

So today I am celebrating life...not just any life, but a life of putting people first, including myself.  A life of focusing on what makes me happy and enjoying every single minute.  I truly care for every single person I allow into my life.  I learned to say "no" and to protect the things that are most important to me.

To my clients--I am blessed beyond belief to experience special moments with each of you, and I hope that you can feel my sincerity in my presence, and in the images I create for you.  I hope that any of you reading this will find a way to do this in your own life--be reborn.

...happy birthday, Melanie